Scared for Tommorow

I seem to always smile at you
When your eyes catch me from away
The beauty found in their blue
Makes me glad there was today

The scent that warns me when your near
The smile that lights the way
To a feeling of complete sweet bliss
Makes me glad there was today

The laughs of inside jokes are shared
And always new ones made
Even the way you poke fun
Makes me glad there was today

The thoughts of you being away
The idea of such a sorrow
Lonely, Scare and Longing still
For there to be tommorow

LifeVesting

An idea, a thought, an slight instance of brilliance in my otherwise average mind. LifeVesting to me has been more than an “A.” It has been more than a T-shirt, or a campaign or even a book (an excellent book). To me LifeVesting has been more than the dividends that have been a result of it. When you take away all of it you are left with simply one thing, a concept. At one point in time the idea of flight was just a concept, to some freedom has been a concept, life itself at one point was just a concept. But at what point does the concept of light illuminate a room. Not when it is merely a concept, not even when you tell it to others, not even when it is thought over and planned. Imagine if Thomas Edison would have said, “I have this great idea called the ‘light bulb’ and if this idea works it can light up houses at night or even whole cities. Yeah the light bulb is the greatest idea ever.” What good would that idea have been to me an you if we were still reading by candle today? It is a good thing that Edison relentlessly tried and tried again until he created the first light bulb. The light bulb…at one point just a concept.

I must admit my initial thoughts of LifeVesting were of selfish origin. A result of to many self help tapes teaching me how to be a self made millionaire by the age of 25. It was a concept of living my life by the laws of investment making my entire life an investment. But the idea soon turned from one of investing my life for me to investing my life in you. I never intended for my concept to become a campaign or a book but where I stopped short with an idea someone else through relentless work turned into a light bulb.

If I was asked who has invested in my life the most I would without a doubt tell you my parents. You see the concept of LifeVesting though comprised of recent date has actually been part of my life for 20+ years. For me my parents of been LifeVestors since before I was born. If you (and you should) have read or are going to read the book you will never hear my father mention his countless trips all over town carting his children to our multiple events, you will never hear mention of my mother always guy our favorite snacks at the grocery store. The book will never tell you about the many sacrifices my parents made so that as kids we could have the things that we wanted, but these are the small things that made my life just that much more comfortable even though it wasn’t a necessity for me. These little investments are things that I can never repay because I will never be able to afford the return rate of the love they have given me.

LifeVesting has become more than just a concept to me. It is the things that have made the difference in my life. There are so many things we can and need to do in order to be LifeVestors, if you want to know those I can recommend a good book to you, but the greatest LifeVestments we make are the little things we say and do for others that sometimes go unnoticed even by ourselves.

My Thoughts: Dad...Thanks for the Light Bulb it has helped bring light and will continue to bring light for many people

Strength

I like the idea of being strong...i want to be strong. I want to be able to lift what i shouldn't be able to, to break what i shouldn't be able to and to some extent fight who i shouldn't be able to...I love the idea of strength. But at times it strikes fear deep inside me. I can be strong and lift and break whatever i want but against you i am weak. I am vulnerable, open for attack you can take my strength away...you, and you, and you, all of and any of you. I search for the strength to make everything right for everyone and when i cant do it, when anyone tells me that that i cant help them, (even if i can) they take my strength away because in turn they just told me i wasn't strong enough to help and it scares me to death. In our times of helplessness we have to look to the strength of others. I will cast all my cares up you. I will lay all of my burdens down at your feet. And anytime I don't know what to do. I will cast all my cares upon you.

My Thoughts: Can anyone (not counting people related to me) tell me who sang those last few lines?

Working

Today is a Tuesday and like all Tuesdays i am just chilling before i go to work. Except the exciting thing is that i now NO LONGER WORK AT COTTON PATCH (and the peasants rejoiced, "Yea") And i am now employed by Cracker Barrel Old Country Store. So here are my thoughts on working

Working

• Working is kinda like a vacuum it is a necessity to keep your house/life in order but sometimes it just really sucks
• My first job...Sacker at United Supermarkets
• My first job that i hated...Sacker at Unites Supermarkets
• Best job i ever had...Fannie Jo's...all i had to do was...sit there...and do nothing...and get paid for it.
• Worst job i can think of...the person responsible for the development of suppository medicine.
• Worst thing about working in restaurant...stupid and mean customers...SO DON'T BE ONE!!! WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING TO!!!
• Worst boss i ever had...my mom...she fired me
• Boss that i love the most...my mom...she still fired me

My Thoughts: Working...money doesn't grow on trees but checks are made from trees.

Warm Days in January

Times change and people with them. THEY ARE NOT WHO THEY USE TO BE!! We all change what determines who we are, are the influences of the people around us. You know it amazes me how at times I think that people fit perfectly together and they are both good people and then due to their influences on each other they change into people who you no longer know. I AM TIRED OF LOSING ALL MY FRIENDS TO CHANGE!!!! But the funny thing is that I see it in myself as well. But the changes in my life to me seem like they are positive ones. Right now I have a more positive view on life than ever before. Right now I have found Blue Eyes and I know I have changed because of her. I have changed for the better but I have the realization that I have to work harder at my other relationships to keep them. We see change as a bad thing maybe it is because we have all sacrificed one relationship or friendship for another that seems to be worth more. We view change as bad and try to stop it from happening but without change it would always be winter, without change it would always be raining, without change life would be a rut, without change there would be no tomorrow, without change their would be know you. So change will come and as seasons change, and the weather changes, as our routines change, and our days change so must we change. Change for one another or change from one another.

My Thoughts: Friends are the seasons of life, ever changing, coming and going. But who will be the warm day in January?

I'm Sorry

"I'm Sorry" You know I feel like I have been saying that allot lately.

"I'm sorry I am didn’t call you back, I'm sorry I'm late, I am sorry I don’t come home to visit more often, I am sorry I am a bad friend, I'm sorry I didn’t get my homework in on time, I am sorry if I made you feel that way, I am sorry If I am a bad boyfriend. God I am sorry I am not a better Christian. I'm Sorry!"

You know I don’t think that I truly realize the meaning of the word any more. It is so overused in my vocabulary that it is just a common no-brainer response, "I'm Sorry." Why do we even say, because we get busted doing something we really shouldn’t have done. What happens if you don’t get busted? What of the times that you are busted by your conscience. What it is supposed to me is that you recognize your faults and you will work hard to change them or to right the situation. But then sometimes sorry comes when there is nothing else that can be done and the feeling of remorse takes over. You know I think I have one thing figure about the definition. I recognize my faults. How can me not when I have so many of them staring me in the face. The reason I say it is because I get busted either by God, myself, or others but constantly my faults rise to the surface and I am face with the fact that I did something wrong and I am wrong because of it. But do I really make an effort to change. Sometimes I feel like I have been doing wrong for so long I don’t even know what right is. When I say it I want it to be from my heart, not from my innate response system.

My Thoughts: I cant promise that I will can make everything right or even mean this as honestly as I should but to those of you who apologies are in order I truly do apologize for my/our shortcomings and I truly am sorry for my/our mistakes.