I am a person who enjoys all types of movies, but there are certain films I get excited about. For the past two weeks I have been so excited about premiering movies I have gone to midnight showings. Last week the movie, Iron Man 2, live up to my expectations and provided a fun evening with a high budget action movie. This week the movie was Robin Hood. After hearing that Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe were making another action movie I was thrilled. When I heard to movie would be Robin Hood, I became ecstatic. So as Thursday night rolled closer to Friday morning I eagerly awaited to beginning of the film.
With ten minutes until the previews an older man walked to our aisle of seating. The man was in his sixties or seventies, wore an old leather jacket, a Navy hat ordained with multiple pins, radio headphones (the kind you would see in the early 90's), and around his neck was an inhaler of sorts that was connected by a wire to a battery pack. When he asked if one of the two seats next to me were taken, we hesitantly told him they were not, and as he walked past a smell that simultaneously punched my face, nose, stomach and gag reflex. The result of the assault was an attempt not to vomit, and to not let the man see the reaction on my face. The barrage of texts messages from my three friends sitting on my other sides lit up my phone with snide comments, mockery, and exhalations of how glad they were that they were not me. Sticking my nose as far into my bag of sour candy as possible I proceeded to watch the movie while trying to ignore Smelly Mel.
Within 5 minutes of the movie beginning Smell Mell's phone rang (he did not listen to the young man who came into our theater to tell us to turn off our phones) and instead of ignoring the calls Smelly Mell answered the call. With his call lasting only a short amount of time I again tried to ignore my odorous, audacious, occupant to the left. An hour into the movie his phone rang again and again he answered it. I can somewhat (but not really) understand answering a phone call at the very beginning of a movie and then turning it off, and I honestly expected Smelly Mel to ignore the second call...he did not. After hanging up I again proceeded an attempt to ignore Smelly Mel.
While watching the movie, and trying to keep as much of my back (an nose) away from Smelly Mel as possible while still seeing the screen, I noticed that a row bellow me to the left a phone illuminated. The young man who had received a soundless text message (that if replied too would also be soundless) had no sooner looked at his phone when Smelly Mel sprang into action, whipping out a flashlight and spot-lighting the delinquent, calling the attention of the rest of the theater to the row and seat right next to mine. "You want to put damn thing up," my mouth literally fell open in shock. At this point Mel's smell again violently assaulted me and I immediately became aware of the need to close my mouth before vomiting. The man in the row below me put his phone up and except for the occasional whiff of stench the remainder of the movie was uneventful. While there was a debatable sighting of Smelly Mel the next day but without proof we are unsure if it was him. The mediocre movie couple with the horrible experience of sitting next to Smelly Mel may make for an interesting blog post but it made for an awful movie experience.
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