Thanks Mom

For everyone who read my xanga over the last few days and saw my diffrent views on life...sorry today there is only one.

I was driving today talking to my mother on my cell phone and telling her about how stressed i was about school and not getting stuff in on time and having my classes dropped and really just ranting and raving about how stressed i was about stuff and pritty much having a pity party with myself being the guest of honor when my mom said to me...
Son do you not have faith that God takes care of things in his own timing. All you have to do is trust in him.
Ya know it wasn't one of those "AH-HA!" revelation type things but more of one of those DUH type things that makes you feel stupid because you knew better. The thing is i can remember saying almost that exact same thing to someone just a few days ago. So after my "Duh" experience today i decided that life just wasn't worth being stressed out about right now. When God cuts things close and to the wire it only shows you to trust him more...besides life is more exciting with a photo finish. Thanks Mom!

My Thoughts: Life...take for granted, Death...not respected enough, Soulution...take risks

Pessimistic/Optimistic/Realistic

Pessimistic View: So yeah after this weekend it seemed that four about two second all my stress went out the window...then a whole new set of stresses came and were like, "hello how are you I am about to make you life a LIVING HELL!!!!!" There is always something that seems to keep me from breathing...and it is all BULL CRAP!! And i say that words "BULL CRAP" in that exhausted-non-belief type voice, the one you use when you are so tired that you cant possibly imagine that there is something else that you now have to deal with.

Optimistic View: So things are going pritty good right now. Ya know there are a few things that are on my plate but they only add spice to life. I have a wonderful girlfriend, I am moving back into town soon. I bought some new really cool flip-flops. Life is exciting and new and although I don’t know what is going on tomorrow I am sure it will be an exciting adventure where there is only more joy to be found.

Realistic View: Life is going...OK. I am surviving. I do have a wonderful girlfriend and she does live in Dallas (so the Dallas part really stinks) school starts soon but I don’t know if my FAFSA will be in soon enough because we had problems with it and my Dad had to refill it out and so I am worried because if I don’t get it sorted out by Tuesday my classes get dropped. But I do get to move back on the 18th. (It will be good to live with Geoff again) But my job ends on the 10th and I don’t know what I am going. I have an interview at a church in Anson so hopefully that will be an answer to prayer. To sum it all up...God is being faithful and I am learning to trust him...but sometimes he cuts these things really darn close

My Thoughts: Life...half full or half empty? SCREW THE GLASS

Things That Make Me Smile

Things that make me smile.

1. playing in the rain
2. new cars
3. drinking coffee outside on a cold winter day
4. favorite sports teams winning
5. least favorite sports teams losing (like the Yankees)
6. staying up late talking to people
7. watching movies in an empty theater
8. American Choppers
9. girls with straightened hair (and girls with curly hair)
10. the color blue
    

Roller Coaster

Roller coasters yup that is about how it is...up and down and up and down and so on and so forth. THAT HAS BEEN MY LIFE FOR THE LAST WEEK!!!! One second i am floating in the clouds and life couldn't get any better, the next i am stressing out because i don't know if i am going to get enough money to be able to do this or have enough time to do that. I feel like the world is passing me by. The ability to stop change, not time but to stop change. For everything to stay the same for just a little longer so i can figure things out. So i can hold onto you that much longer. But in the words of Casting Crowns

I am a flower quickly fading here today and gone tomorrow

My entire grasp on reality is flying out the window and i don't know if i am coming or going and at the same time i and trying to experience what everyone tells me i am supose to and i am trying to be who everyone tells me i am supose to be. Oh to sit in peace. I long for nothingness and at the same time for everything. I am ready for the roller coast to stop and for me to get off of the ride but if i do i will no longer enjoy the thrill of the ride.

My Thoughts: Life is fickle

Ashley's Post on My Blog

Hey Joel

Since you left this open on my computer I could be really mean and post something or change all your settings (kind of like you did on my phone)

but I won't

Hope you had a good day today. Catch ya later!!

Ashley

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The above post is this girl who keeps stalking me and she is really starting to scare me since she is hacking into my xanga to declare her un-dieing love for me. (jk Ashley...your the best)

Ashby sorry about your West Nile...i will most deff. be praying for you

My Thoughts:Stalkers...its a good thing? ...... wait that didnt sound right

Family

So this weekend i went home to celebrate the 4th of July with my family and the trip turned out to be loads of fun. You know i am amazed the older i get the more i seem to enjoy my family. It also just completely blesses me to see the Lord do works in their lives. To see your family grow in the Lord together is a true blessing that many don't have the pleasure of.

My sisters are so much more fun to be around now than they were growing up (because there is less fighting). But they both have become very beautiful young ladies who have a burning passion and desire for the Lord. Their husbands are going to have to be pritty amazing to marry them (and will of course have to go through a screening and application process).

My Dad has become more than just a Dad but an amazing friend as well. My most stimulating conversations are with him. We talk about any and everything, whether is is ministry, book ideas, or just random things. It is really cool to have someone who has gone through the same classes, type churches, and ministry situations that i am so close with and can talk to about.

And most importantly (at least if you ask her) my mother. I call her on average at least once a day. When we lived in the same house we both fought with each other a lot but i find when i am away i miss her the most. I am truly blessed with such an amazing mom. The sacrifes she has made for our family are why we are still a family today.

Me and both my sisters!! Cassie is always on the left and Carrie is always on the right in pictures.

This is my father with my sisters as you may notice Cassie is still on the left and Carrie is still on the right

The most important ladies in my life My Thoughts: To my Family...I love you

Surrounded by Death

This summer i myself and many of my friends have just been surrounded with (what we would call) tragic deaths so i thought i would post one of my personal journal entries here for you guys.

Surrounded by death i see the changes in the lives of us who remain. Some desperately cling onto who they were in an attempt to continue to hold onto what they know as "normal." And who can blame them? Others try to push away who they were before there loss. In the end change is unavoidable and it seems to always hurt. The thought of never looking these people i the eyes again and the pain we see every time we look into their families eyes. My fear of death is becoming to haunting coming closer and closer. Its not that i am afraid of what will happen after i die...I WILL BE IN GLORY...but the effects that death has on people at times hurts my soul. With vigor i want to make every day count. When i die i want people to say the same things about me that were said at David Gilbert's and JoAnna Godman's funerals. To make a difference in people we have to start now today because tomorrow is just a concept a distant possibility that we hold to much stock in. To make a difference tomorrow you must begin with making a difference today.

For: David, JoAnna, Gary, J.S., Christen, Tohmas and all of their friends and families