Dream Girl pt. 2

Dreamgirl: part 2 – Hope

And Dreamgirls do exists I suppose

Because you are there to wipe away my tears

And this pity party’s getting pretty old

So darling come and kiss away my fears

And your beauty is sustaining me

But not knowing it is taking my life

For your beauty is the air I breathe

And I’m holding mine till you arrive

When I close my eyes I think of you

And pray just to know who you are

Hoping my wishes are coming true

And that love’s magic is not so afar

And Dreamgirl you are why I remain

So hopelessly devoted to love

So I dream of you and wake the same

Thinking our one life is not enough

Dream Girl

Hey guys wow it has been a long time since i posted jsut so you guys know college is going great and the Lord is truly amazing. This one is kinda sappy but that is okay because only girls read my xanga anyway

written 9/26/04

Dream Girl

As I doze in and out of what I can only precieve to be reallity I cannont help but smile, but this time something is diffrent, this time when i shut my eyes too wonder into unconciousness, my body may be asleep but my my heart remains connected to my dreamgirl, who is in my arms finding her security in me even while I am at rest. To describe her to you, those who dont know her, would turn me into a fool for with my innacurate depictionof her, shewouldsound perfect. In my desribing her the perfection I laelher with is only a smal glimpse of the true person she is. Every thing about her is perfect to me. The way she runs her fingers through her hair only accents her perfect smile always accompanying it. Those few hair, long and straight, remain in front of her eyes perfectly asking me to gently brush them behinde her ear. The way she looks at me after I do so takes my breath away from me again, but it always feels like the first time. Standing, she looks up to meet my eyes she gives a look that becons my heart to run towards hers and as I step towards her the bliss of her kiss, soft and sweet makes me even more aware of the perfection in my arms. Slolwy moving them down her arms I place my hands in hers. Sight of her face becomes blurry to me as the moisture falls down my cheek I am overwhelmed by the senese of perfect completion. The thought the God woudl allow me to obtain and cherish another only draws me closer so him ad i get closer to her. So I sleep, her beauty in my arm, and her heart joined with mine. I wait for her to awaken me with a kiss but it never occurs. In fear i force myself back in my concious gray. My arms are empty my Dreamgirl gone. For that is all she has ever been to me, dream. The mirage of heart leads to the abandonment of joy, that, when called by reallity, ansewers with one word...ALONE!

Poem to College

Poem to College

Soon I start my college days

The fun is about to begin

The parties, friends are here to stay

And I need not say it again

Modern day hippies we will be

Growing our hair out long

Listening to music way to loud

And screaming along with the songs

Our parents say we dress too weird

But we all know they’re wrong

Every guy will grown a beard

And all the girls wear thon…flip flops

I only ask you to remember this much

About your college trends

All the books, and tests, and such

Won’t be that fun in the end.

Lately i have had a real bad case of writers block so i really haven't posted. SO i thought i would post one of my favorite poems for you guys to read.

written by William Herbert Carruth

Each in His Own Tongue

A fire-mist and a planet—

A crystal and a cell,

A jelly-fish and a saurian,

And caves where cave-men dwell;

Then a sense of law and beauty

And a face turned from the clod--

Some call it Evolution

And other call it God.

A haze on the far horizon,

The infinite, tender sky,

The ripe, rich tint of the cornfields,

And the wild geese sailing high;

And all over upland and lowland

The charm of the golden-rod,--

Some of us call it Autumn,

And others call it God.

Like tides on a crescent sea-beach,

When the moon is new and thin,

Into our hearts high yearnings

Come welling and surging in;

Come from the mystic ocean

Whose trim no foot has trod,--

Some of us call it Longing

And others call it God.

A picket frozen on duty,

A mother starved for her brood

Socrates drinking the hemlock,

And Jesus on the rood;

And millions who, who humble and nameless,

The straight, hard pathway plod,--

Some call it Consecration,

And others call it God.

I Love You Like the Dawn of Day

I love you like the dawn of day
Fresh and new every morn
With your eyes and smile that always say
I love you ever more

Your graceful way of telling me
I'm yours and you are mine
Our hears have joined so willingly
And will stay till the end of time

Your beauty stole my breath from me
Again but for the first time
To you I give it graciously
Its yours to have all my life

I love you like the dawn of day
You are my sun rising in the east
My love for you will always stay
And together we are complete

Two Doors

I walk down a path
My life set before
I come to a fork
Given the choice of two door
One is my plan

The other is you

And here I must pick

And chose from the two

I want my success

My money my wealth

But I want you my dear

Through sickness and Health

Open your eyes and

tell what you see
To my heart my love

Your hand holds the key
So there is only one door

For my heart to choose

As I turn the knob

My thoughts pass of you

Of your eyes

So cool so sweet

A pool of blue

With an end I’ll not meet

Your hair as silk

To the touch it is smooth

Like blowing grain

Through the wind as it moves

Your skin so fare

Your lips so red

My heart yearns for you

By your hand it is led

And so I will go

Where your hand leads of me

And go through the door

For your hand holds the key

Times to End

Each one of our lives has a point in which any normality our eyes could see is blurred by the formation of that tear that slowly collects enough moisture to fall and roll so gracefully down our cheeks. Each one of us goes through a time where all that was and is normal is only a foreign concept and we are left alone only with the thoughts of what was. Left alone with a fear of what tomorrow may bring. Because the scariest part of life isn’t what we know is going to happen. The scariest part of life is, not knowing what will happen when you wake up and get out of bed tomorrow. It takes an incredible amounts of courage to take the steps into anew day not knowing what awaits you on your path to your hope. The fear of tomorrow is what is holding us back from our passions that eat away at us. The passions whose sole desire is to rise to the surface and to be understood and heard and seen. As your passion lay dormant inside eating away at you begging you to bring to surface your innermost desires you cower and hide suppressing those passions for fear of tomorrow. But in being honest with our souls tomorrow is an isolation created in our own minds. We fear it. We fear change. We fear those end times where we must leave something new and press on towards tomorrow wanting so much to go back to yesterday. But the future doesn’t lie in yesterday. Your passions can’t come to pass yesterday. Tomorrow is all we have it is our future and the very place where or hope must remain. Our fear of times to end is what is suppressing our times to begin and start anew. Tomorrow possesses our fear, yes, but it also holds the result of what we can do and who we can become brining those dormant passions to the surface and proving once and for all our zealacy spurs us to the hope in tomorrow. So tomorrow, let it come brining fear. I shall look towards tomorrow and see through my blurry eyes the only hope I’ve still got lies there waiting for me to come and take it.

The Summer of My Childhood

The summer of my childhood has past away and along with it the baseball card games, fishing, scraping my knees, days of swimming, and building forts in the wood. My baseball card and bug collections have been traded for worries and concerns of my future. My chasing squirrels and rabbits has turned into chasing girls and broken hearts. The days of summer i once knew consisted of catching fire flies to the golden rays of a setting sun; drinking lemonade on the back porch while listening to the symphony of crickets preforming just for me; and stealing apples off the next-door neighbor's trees. But those summers are only memories to me now. Now summer means heat, work, and late nights spent at coffee shops. Whatever happened to the summer bar-b q's, or sitting on the roof watching the fireworks on the fourth of July. In this adult world i am so quickly being pushed and pulled into there is no time for eating home made ice-cream while listening to grandpa's stories. In the world that will soon entertain my all summer has lost all its magic and in return has gained the troubles of a recessing economy and war. The only place the magic remains is in the hearts of my memories which are quickly fading.

Lost

written 7/1/03

No matter what I do I am lost in this world, entangled in a web of material wealth. Just when I think I have found my way out all light turns to darkness and all I see around me is a living hell that makes my mind hurt, my soul burn, and even more than that my heart break. When I think I have found my hope an exit from insanity through relationships but the vanity of it demands the damnation of the thought.

My friends abandon me forcing me to walk alone. And those I reach out to offering my heart and love in its most primitive evolving form. They take my heart and shatter it. My fragile heart is shattered into thousands of shards of glass only for the shards of my heart to be blown in my face, cutting and scraping it, mutilating it beyond recognition, and forcing me to bleed tears. I hide my face and the shattered pieces of my heart only to finally get it pieced together and experience the pain all over again.

So I have no friends no one beside me holding my hand. Further I am lost wondering blind and alone. I look around and see others taking the exit ramp off the highway that has me trapped hurtling at dangerous velocities only to find a tunnel ahead forcing me back into darkness that traps me in my nightmare called life. Their exits are found in drinking drugs and sex. At times their windows out appeal to me and I think the reality of the situations calls me to follow but in the end there is only turmoil because in their window it doesn’t matter what where or who you wake up to and the overwhelming sensation of pain is even more evident.

So I continue through this wormhole of life wondering, waiting, hoping, and praying for mercy for pity for someone to look on me and show me my exodus, to tell me everything is alright. But no one is their I am crying into the darkness not knowing if my cries fall on deaf ears or if I am just telling the devouring creatures where to find me.

The concerns of this world are not of me. Why should anyone have concern if my being lost for I am not someone else. I cannot be the person you all so blindly see. All I am is me and for the rest of you that isn’t good enough. So I waste away wondering aimlessly and alone lost in my own self rejection. My exodus shalln’t come and my demise is inevident.

Awake and Alive

Awake and alive my redemption is found in the very hands of a man whom i have never seen face to face. But those same hands gently holding my redemption were crushed and pierced so that redemption could come to pass. I feel it in my bones the greatest of these awakenings i yet to come. And i will be there standing on the front line sword drawn and screaming my most righteous battle cry at the top of my lungs, "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty! The whole Earth is full of his glory!!!" I am Awake and Alive in a world who will soon know who i am but even greater than that they will know the name of my God through me.

Sorrows to the Requiem of Loss Life

I sit with only memories

To pass these bad times by

If we were not suppose to be

Why did you say it was right

As bitterness slowly takes hold

It reminds me of the pain

My sorrows takes control

Driving me insane

If i could wish you away

Things would be just fine

But life mocks me today

As i am left to cry

So away i will waste

With a life felt dry and un-lived

Left with the a bitter taste

And no more love for me to give