Legally Blonde 2

So i just finished committed a horrible offense to all mankind, broken the man-code, and had the two most regrettable hours of my entire life. You must all be asking yourselves now, "Oh no!! What horrible offense has Joel just committed?" It is with great regret that i must inform you that i just watch, in its entirety, Legally Blonde 2. I am ashamed and am seeking professional help.

For anyone out there who is unaware of this pitiful excuse for a motion picture and the largest waste of time...ever let me explain my beef with the movie and why nothing like this could ever happen.

Let me first give you a quick plot summary: Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) has decided that she will fight for animal rights and lobbies against using animal tested cosmetics so she goes to Washington and attempts to get a Bill discharged with the 218 needed signatures from members of congress. Meanwhile she discovers her dog is homosexual.

Here is why this movie is the most ridiculous peace of cinematography i have ever seen

1. Sorority Girls

a. No one who wares as much make-up as the character Elle Woods could possibly be wearing no cosmetics that weren’t tested on animals I mean this is just absurd

2. The movie makes Washington look like a place where people deep down inside are nice and sweet

a. with politics and the way our elections, committees, and the passing of legislation are handled in Washington you would not find a bunch of politics who are just begging to get along

3. Mockery of the Congressional process

a. there are several scenes in the movie where public out bursts (in places our country considers very respectful) take place and due to them people change there minds about the issue in question (chemical testing on animal subjects)

i. e.g. – the cheer leading capitol building scene

ii. People in Washington (especially politicians) take the reverence and the demeanor of ones behavior very seriously and no such outbursts would dare be tolerated

4. Representative from Massachusetts

a. her entire staff quits on her because they support some drunkard blonde chick {who admitted in the first movie that she does drink alcohol on a regular basis (and yes unfortunately I saw the first movie to but that is a whole other Xanga post)} instead of a congresswoman that they have worked hard their entire careers just to be in the same room as.

5. Homosexual dogs

a. In one scene a conservative senator from Alabama admits (in a public outburst no less) that he is the owner of a homosexual dog. MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH THIS ONE

i. first senators are in office and their number one goal while in office is to stay in office…so…Alabama is a conservative state who doesn’t really support homosexuality…so…if a conservative senator from Alabama wanted to get re-elected he would not admit to having a gay dog and even more than that if it came out that he owned one he wouldn’t be proud of it AT ALL. HE IS FROM ALABAMA HE WOULD PROBABLY SHOOT IT!!!

ii. BUT we have another problem on this one. It is not natural to be homosexual. Nowhere in nature do you see homosexuality. It is a perversion of lust. Nothing (or no one for that matter) is born a homosexual (the only reasons humans struggle with it is the same reason we struggle with any other sins) so there is no way that a dog (who cannot really go against the instincts nature gave it) could be homosexual it is just not plausible

The movie was ridiculous and I feel like I have just wasted two hours of my life. If you know any professional consolers I am accepting recommendations.

My Thoughts Please...help control the idiot population...have this movie banned and burned!

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